Mario, Sent back to the minors

Mario violated probation. He was not following the rules of the rehabilitation center and was sent back to juvenile center. What he was sent back for could be considered unfair. All we take from it is that he was doing better. Mario is working on his tolerance. He is working on his social skills and it is odd how we as a society move the mark and actually add obstacles for youth like Mario.
Mario has been incarcerated for the majority of his adolescent life. So everything he has learned has either been from his home environment or jail. The system does their best to teach him to interact better, but they never put him in an environment where he can successfully practice his techniques. I relate it to fielding grounders. I always thought that if I could field all the ground balls on a rocky field that when I got to the nice fields it would be cake. No, it wasn't cake. It was safer, but it was just as difficult and more was at stake. It is frustrating to see him make small, but monumental, accomplishments and then watch those around him measure him to a standard so much higher than what he is realistically capable of. He trust no one.
The system wants him to follow rules that he has he is not geared to follow. The system is teaching him to punish, and yet when he punishes its wrong. Of course, his ideas of the rules are far different from the system's idea of rules. Nevertheless, he is still working out of their constructs. Somewhere along the path of history, it became fully acceptable to value punishment as a way to discipline. As I see it, discipline comes from a community who teaches by example, establishing a tradition that incorporates its values. These juvenile offenders are being taught one thing....to PUNISH!

Update on Mario

Mario was released recently into a treatment center for 3 months where he will be integrated into the community. He stopped writing for awhile. He was drawing more and I hope to share some of that soon. Unfortunately much of his drawing and writing is considered inappropriate by the staff, so much of his work is confiscated and probably thrown away.
He has shown a significant change in personality. We have grown and are creating a good connection. He is slowly able to communicate openly and on his terms. Often he shares without needing to be asked, which makes me think he is trusting. He is also learning to communicate his less desirable feelings in more understandable ways, and he doesn't use so much profanity. Believe me the profanity and sharp cutting words are still flowing. He is recognizing that his life is his and that not all the world is against him.

Lets see how Mario can handle the outs. 3rd time is a charm.

Death

look into my eyes homie I've done seen death up close.
I watched his body release his soul,
bullets rip holes right through his clothes.
So dear God when it comes time to judge my soul,
please forgive me for that times that I lost control.
I'm posted, surrounded by tha sins of my past, run n games
make me smile but that shit don't last.
Its obvious when death calls where ain't no turnin back.
SKS's used by hoodlums all in black, they wanna merk me catch me without a strap.
Brace my self for rebirth and the power of the blast.
It's obvious I take my sins with me to the grave.
I know the pain caused and that theres a price to be paid.

-Mario


Mario is getting close to being integrated back into society. He will spend several months in a group home focused on teaching life skills. He has become a calm person and I am not sure what his life will be like on the outs. I see how these young men get comfortable incarcerated and begin to show signs of hope for a purposeful life but nothing can be truly validated until the youth can show that he can make it as a everyday citizen. I find myself dismissing the luxury of knowing how to read and having parents and family that knew how important that was. I take advantage of the fact that there are several people that provide good leadership and model good behavior. I take advantage of the fact that I am free from being hunted. I can even enjoy a vacation hear and there.

Growth!

Im a young hispanic,
born and raised in the land of entrapment,
people stereotype
they see me and they start to panic,
assuming just by my appearance that im a savage,
that im merciless that i just care about my self,
well ur wrong if u think that
let me tell u wat im really about,
in a way some are right, I can be a savage at times,
but I don't mess with theirs if they dont mess with mine.
I'm just another minority, but in reality the minority is the majority.
By statistics theres less majority then there are minoritys,
so why do my people get treated so bad?
To myself that same question I always ask?
Its sad, too see people try to act better then others when in reality we are all just sisters and brothers!

- Mario

Mario is working on his 10th grade credits. Seeing him change and begin to ask me questions has helped me recognize the young man in him. He wants in the simplest ways to be accepted, and to not feel afraid. It is the fear that puts up his defenses. The only adult interaction he receives is with the staff members who in all their good intentions usually treat him like a criminal. I see how Mario struggles with believing in what he can be, while being treated like what he feels he aught to be. What he aught to be is gangsta, savage, loco, or criminal. That is the message society and the system is telling him. For an hour every Sunday I try to see the boy who wishes, dreams, and loves. I think he has helped me appreciate the simplicity I live in. I am also aware how luxurious it is to have a mother, father, education, support, and for the most part respect. I feel we are connecting and he has been comfortable enough to ask me questions. Questions like why don't you cuss? How come your not married anymore? How come you don't have a girlfriend? His interest is sign of his willingness to connect with me, his willingness to invest in who I am, and that means a lot to me. If Mario inspires you at please write to him, he would greatly appreciate your words. If he offends you, please look at what fears he has caused you to defend.

Red

My red hat my red shirt my red pants my red shoes,
its death by dishonor so u'll never catch me in that color blue.
If you a hater fuck u.
If you don't like me fuck u 2, hot like lava thought u knew,
I'm flamed IN and I'm flamed out, red bandanna is what I'm about.
Diamonds and rubies up in my crown, the only time a foe eve be down
is when that mutha fucker be in tha ground.
Talkin shit kill that sound,
69 red impala u kno it bounce, I'm flamed down, and I'm flamed up,
in tha air I throw that "b" up, I'm posted up, fuck love.
This red ragger is lost in lust, when I lift that red tee up,
u'll see that gun i got tucked.

- Mario

In order to defend himself from verbal abuse from peers, which later turned to violence, this young man found acceptance in his street gang. This rage established a great sense of power and respect due to the fear he was able to create in others. Mario recognized this pattern and to this day looks to find justice at the hands of violence. He is not excited about "having to do this", but he has not been taught any other way.....yet. Mario is seen as a threat to the community, but I see him as a fruit from the tree of threatened people. The threats come from poor parenting, violent men, poor education, and overall an inferior attitude towards life. Mario did not create himself, and it is a cop out to say that he chooses this lifestyle.

?s And Answers

You wanna kno who b - my best friend,
so i reach in my pocket and pull out banjermin,
you wanna kno why I - do wat i do,
cuz theres money to be made in tha city of tha duke,
u wanna kno were I - was born,
Albuquerque Nuevo Mexico thats my home,
u wanna kno what barrio - I claim,
barelas trese that m-o-b gang,
u wanna kno wat color - I like best,
tha color that splashes wen a bullet hits a chest
u wanna kno wat I - got to say,
Fuck tha judge
Fuck my p.o. and
Fuck that d.A.
u wanna kno why I - said that,
cuz they straight up bitches and dont kno crap,
u wanna kno wat day - it is, February 2009 3 days before tha sixth,

-Mario

Mario is a young man, barely tasting high school, who lost his mother to drug addiction and his father struggles to stay healthy as well. His grandmother, the woman who raised him, recently battled cancer of the mouth and is loosing patience with Mario's circumstances. His grandfather is his closest link to any family compassion, with his father doing his best while battling habits himself. The remainder of his family may only offer prayers, but have left his future up to him. His mothers side of the family, to put it nicely, has chosen to part ways, taking with them his only sister.
Getting to know Mario has been a gift. I hope you get to hear his story through his flows. I will also post some artwork of his. We spend a hour a week walking his pain, recognizing the numbness in his heart that allows him to look at the tragedy in his life as if it were some picture on the wall. He is hopeful that his life of gang banging can end, it is not the direction he wants to go. He wants it clear that his lyrics are who he was and no longer what he wants to be. I realize I get the best of him, as he puts his best foot forward when with me, and I may never see his shadow. I do know that this untrained warrior, has a desire for justice and little tolerance for being put to shame. Trained by other young and abandoned youth to learn a dark business that nourishes a hunger for pride and belonging, Mario is incarcerated and is looking at a year in a youth detention center.

Hear them!

For close to a year now I have worked with youth who are incarcerated, looking at parole, paroled, or on probation. Throughout this experience I have learned about their hard times. The young men that I work with have stories that are hard to believe because some aspects are just too hurtful. At times these young guys give me poems, lyrics, drawings, and letters as a way to let me in. I feel inspired to share these gifts with the world so that maybe their gifts can inspire goodness.

"I was in prison, and you came to Me"
(Matthew 25:36)