No need to change.

He got picked up on another commitment. To catch you up here is the sequence of events from my last post.

Mario, was charged as an accomplice to a crime a week or so after he was released. He seemed genuine that he was not guilty. He served a few months in the "D" home, which is not juvenile jail. He was released right before my trip to Guatemala. His grandfather amazingly also survived his heart troubles, gaining just enough strength to endure open heart surgery. He is doing well.

So before Mario was released, and having only one opportunity to visit with him, I noticed even more change. I don't know how to describe it, it didn't make me feel sad, excited, but calm. He described the events that put him back into custody and it was clear that there was blame. To the simple mind it is easy to say it was his fault. Equally it can be clearly seen that he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people; allowing the judgmental person the opportunity to paint whatever picture they need to. More complexly, it is in his heart to change, but that burning in his heart is not enough to heat his mind.

The calm I felt that day, I think came from his acceptance of himself. Possibly finding peace in the fact that society moves on without him. He seemed to accept that he will be to the world, his rap sheet. I get the sense that he understands the superficiality of our society and how very few people will take the time to understand his story, marginalizing it. Preferring to believe a summary from a lawyer or case worker. The world doesn't wait for any of us. We trip and fall, but that stranger walks by. I have been both the fallen and the stranger.

On my trip to Guatemala, I thought about my visit with him. As I picked up my baggage in the good ole Albuquerque Sun Port, I cycled through where I left off in "Burque", remembering Mario. That calmness switched gears into a hope and then raced to a worry.

He picked up new charges four days after his release. The judge gave him a chance, and it appears as if he lost it. Oh me of little faith. Let's see where his decisions take us this time. He called me wondering if I will come visit. :) I guess I understand that calmness, it is the feeling you get when your around friends.